ALL THE GLITTER IS NOT ADrenaline
Attracts trauma and karmic bonds
We hear about trauma connections every day, but do we know the exact meaning? This is a relationship between two people who have not yet healed; one is used to being the victim and the other has always been the abuser. Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m showing this as a sample? The truth is – YES! It’s a pattern because the two people who form a traumatic relationship are people who are always in situations like this. Starts in childhood and continues until old age. The relationship between the victim and the abuser is like a cat and mouse chase. Victims are so used to feeling like victims that they subconsciously gravitate toward situations where they feel the same way. The abuser will want to continue to manipulate and thus attract those who could become its victims. And so the MIGHTY CHASE begins. This is exactly where PROFESSIONAL ATTRACTION begins. In spirit, we call this the EXPERIMENTAL PATTERN or CAREER CYCLE. Psychologically, we can call this mind ADDICTION or PROGRAM LINK as we have discussed. This is exactly how Psychology and Spirituality are linked together. Now let’s look at how trauma-induced attraction affects our choices, relationships, and more.
Causes of traumatic attraction:
Traumatic attraction is a habit that a person develops because of what they normalize relationships in their mind or what they consider to be the definition of ‘normal’ growing up. Relationship choices can be heavily influenced in two ways1. Childhood/parenting: Relationship history plays out as a dynamic from childhood. Perceptions about relationships are often formed in childhood. As children grow up, they see their parents behave in a certain way, they consider this a normal relationship. For example, for a daughter, her father is the first example of a masculine figure in her life. It is often seen that she wants a life partner like her father and if she finds her father emotionless, extremely authoritative and if she cannot speak in front of him then the chances are very high that she will feel attracted. for someone who can recreate the same setup for her. The reason is because this is the definition of the ideal masculine model in her life. She always associates a man with similar characteristics. In such cases, the mother must intervene and explain what is normal and what is not, and this usually does not happen. That’s where this trauma bond attraction or karmic pattern begins. Recently there has been a lot of emphasis on healing the inner child.2. Movies/Novels define relationships and attachments: Every child has a favorite romantic movie. This is usually in the adult stage. Dreaming about a relationship is a good thing but most of the time it veers into unhealthy territory. While movies or books talk about relationships from the perspective of domination, passion, excitement, the ‘lala feeling’ type of love, they create a false and incomplete scenario of real love. is like. While love is seen as a place of peace, safety, and comfort, movies and books tend to romanticize love, creating a false sense of expectation. Mainly associated with love and adrenaline. Now, when a person gets into relationships, they tend to expect these fantasies to come true, which can only hurt and leave both of them hurt. Movies and books are works of fiction and should be treated as fiction. Although everyone’s definition of love is different, every acceptance comes with many downsides. I’ve had clients who want to believe that love is all about adrenaline and this is a conscious choice. Yes, that hormone is a rush of excitement, but it also brings extreme emotions. There is a lot of happiness but also a lot of pain because the two people here are bound together because of that rush and when that rush is over, there is nothing left to hold on to their feelings. We always have a choice.
CHASE & INTERPRETATION IN RELATIONSHIPS
The word Chase is often associated with adrenaline and if this is a traumatic chase like what we discussed earlier, it can have disastrous consequences. The chase is often in search of something the child was missing in childhood. For example, in a family where the child’s parents are emotionally unavailable, the child will have unloving relationships, essentially falling behind someone who is not committed, which will be like love for this person and because It is not a healthy relationship, it can only create triggers or cause more hurt when attached, especially when the person they are trying to pursue leaves. This cycle keeps repeating itself in life, whether in friendships or romantic relationships. The type of bond that a traumatized person forms will only get more traumatic, until they recognize this cycle and work to break out of it.
Heal from the vicious cycle
Identify Your Trauma The first and most important step to healing is to always check in with yourself to understand if you are in a vicious cycle. Chasing adrenaline is good, but life needs balance. Ask yourself if your chase is healthy. Here, one important thing that can help you understand is how you feel about this situation. Do your feet feel cold? Does it worry you? My friends, anxiety is a very complex emotion and can also be addictive. Little do we know that anxiety is created by our mind about a situation. When we don’t know the outcome of a situation, there is a lot of food for thought- what will happen? Is he/she there or not? Can I trust or not trust? The mind likes to think and it needs a subject. You have to check yourself to see if your mind is addicted to the topic or not. When the subject is not there, the chase begins again. For example, if you are trying to heal your partner in a relationship, remember how traumatic relationships are formed – the victim attracts the abuser and vice versa. Here, both parties involved have to take care of each other’s emotional needs, which both parties are unable to meet because their ideas come from an unhealthy space. Over time, this relationship can only worsen the initial hurt. There’s no shame in seeking help if you find yourself stuck in a cycle like this. With so much pressure on your head, you need professional help to solve this problem. Change your belief system To acknowledge old ideas about a relationship as unhealthy and toxic, Don’t shy away from reprogramming yourself and seeking help. We are often afraid to ask for help. Usually, belief systems come from what a person learned in childhood as normal. For example, if a child grows up in a violent family and no action is taken against it. The child will grow up feeling that relationships can be violent and that the only way is to end the quarrel and not talk about it. This belief system must be identified as a belief that comes from the trauma the child has experienced and the idea must be dismissed as normal. Most importantly, the hurt person must develop the wisdom to understand what is ‘healthy’ in a relationship and what is ‘unhealthy’, and practice healthy relationships in a constructive way. consciousness to form their new bond. Only then will a person finally be free from trauma. (Author: Neelam Naseeb, Energy Therapist and Life Coach)
