Looking on the brighter side of things and staying positive definitely comes with its set of benefits. But often, simply ignoring your emotions and failing to acknowledge the negatives in the quest to remain optimistic can take a toll on our mental and emotional health. With so much uncertainty around us, being happy and positive has become important but overdoing it and suppressing our emotions is definitely not the right way to look on the brighter side. of any situation. When we overdo it, it becomes toxic. ? The layman’s definition of toxic positivity reads – no matter how bad the situation, we always maintain a positive mindset and live by a ‘good vibes’ approach to life. However, the ground reality is different. Toxic positivity has been around, but it was during the start of the pandemic that people started talking about it seriously, explains Seema hingorrany, a clinical psychologist and trauma expert. The problem starts when you go into denial mode about your triggering issues instead of admitting them and constantly keeping up with the farce of feeling positive. Usually, this also stems from our conditioning and not being a good listener. When you constantly feed your belief system with messages about staying positive, you automatically ignore the real problems. This will soon help you land you in a bigger emotional, mental, and physical mess.
‘Uncertainty, erratic WFH hours, Minimal socialization-Common factors for positivity gone wrong’ says Jyoti Sharma*, an Australia-based finance expert, since the pandemic , our routine has launched. Homeschooling, WFH, lack of socialization, and erratic work hours have taken a toll on my mental and emotional health and my close relationships. People started telling me to see the silver lining and stay positive but I couldn’t find any ray of hope. I started to feel as though the problem was with me. I started suppressing my genuine emotions and trying to stay positive all the time. But when I realized I couldn’t take it any further, I contacted friends who really understood my problem and helped me. I also started looking for therapy recently. Once I began to accept and acknowledge the situation, things slowly started to settle down. There were times when people around me talked about spreading positivity but I couldn’t feel any of it, shares TV actress Sumbul Touqeer. When you feel low, you must try to find your trigger points. Last year, when one of my programs crashed midway, I felt as if my life came to a screeching halt. You get used to a routine and suddenly there’s nothing to look forward to. It affected me a lot because nothing else came to me until Imlie happened. When people are going through a difficult time, don’t force them to adopt a positive outlook. Try to be a good listener.
Bengaluru-based event director Tulika Ghosh* says, Work from home means no fixed timings, 24×7 availability and very little ‘me time’. Living alone in a big city, fear of Covid-19, unpredictable work hours, pay cuts are some common factors that often affect our emotional and mental health. Working in a small agency, I have to put in extra time, effort and energy to bring in new business and it’s a daily struggle. Once I realized my threshold, I started taking small steps and working on my problems. Feeling positive and happy every day is humanly impossible. ‘Learning what to consume on social media has taken on a much bigger role in our lives amid the pandemic. From reels, articles, videos to influencers, everyone seems to be a life coach or a wellness guru. Bengaluru-based Dr Shruti Iyer, 24, has been on duty for more than a year, “I have seen it.” During the initial stages of my quest, when I would scroll through my social media feed during breaks, I would be bombarded with messages, videos, and spins on how to stay happy during the period. hard. At one point, it really got to me because these people rarely have any idea of the ground reality. But when a close family member has tested positive and been hospitalized, these messages and updates can seem insensitive, jarring, and misleading. I started unfollowing a lot of these pages and people and reset my algorithm. 
Comedian and actor Manan Desai Also emphasizes the importance of creating mindful content. Social media has become our greatest source of escapism, he said. While we create content that is humorous and relatable, we also need to be realistic. As an influencer/content creator, one must do research and create mindful content. Emotions, it will return to us, making us desperately search for happiness everywhere. Often people come to me saying they are tired of feeling positive all the time. Social media can be hard on your emotions. We have to draw our boundaries on what and how much content should be consumed in a day. Running away from social media is not a sustainable option. Pay attention to these physical signs, your mind is out of tune with your emotions, your body starts giving signs. Be aware of these changes and seek help if the problem persists, says psychiatrist Dr. Harish Shetty. There are a few physical signs that can help you understand things better. Pay attention when you consistently feel low for long periods of time, or are on a complete social media scroll, giving out lots of preachy messages, or you’re often angry or irritable and always respond to every problem with toxic positivity. If you’re experiencing these issues, it’s time to take a step back, evaluate your feelings, and seek help. Instead of suppressing your real problems, work slowly. Hingorrany.
Avoid these toxic phrases:
1.
“Don’t think about it, stay positive!”
2.
“Don’t worry, be happy!”
3.
“Only good vibes!”
4.
If I can do it, you can too!
5.
“Erase negativity”
6.
Look for the silver lining.
7.
Everything happens for a reason.
