The world’s air has never been as thick with hurt, pain and grief as it has been in the past few years. Every other person and household seems to be affected by physiological or psychological fatigue, stress or pain. It’s hard to find comfort or support because everyone faces their own challenges or traumas. While it is heartening to see the organic emergence of support groups, where bereaved people come together to hold space, comfort, inspire and strengthen each other, many grieving people still feel isolated. single, even lonely and lost in their private journey of grief. I witnessed this closely. in my work and service as a ‘Grief and Development’ specialist. Loss can break us to the core. Our worldview, outlook on life, and overall sense of well-being cannot be separated from each other. The cry of the heart is the first thing to be felt. But the body’s cries remained unnoticed. From loss of appetite, insomnia, vague body aches, mild fever to more acute symptoms such as diabetes, hypertension or even cardiac stress, the body is weighed down by trauma. Mental function is also affected, causing many grieving people to feel foggy, confused, absent-minded or even have memory loss. Such effects are often episodic and transient, but in cases of complex and protracted grief, they can be profound and long-lasting. However, life continues to move and we need to learn to move with it. I pause here to clarify that “moving on” is different from the clichéd advice of “moving on.” No matter how good your intentions, avoid telling those who are grieving to “move on,” “let go,” or “be strong.” Often taken out of context, such clichés and platitudes tend to do more harm than help. Returning to the issue of “accompanying” life, practicing “mindfulness” is extremely useful. “Mindfulness” is both a state of being and a meditation practice. It is the ability to be fully present and aware in the present moment. As humans, we are influenced by events or experiences in life. However, in a state of mindfulness, we do not feel the urge to react or be overwhelmed by the weight of our circumstances or emotions. We can notice and acknowledge things as they are. Being mindful of our state helps us soothe painful feelings. We can affirm our pain, stay focused, adapt to lives changed by loss, and care for others and ourselves with compassion and care. Mindfulness supports us in our journey to anchor ourselves moment by moment, as we begin to create new ground for life to navigate the world after our loss. Inculcate a mindful lifestyle. Start by breathing deeply, mindfully and with awareness, at least twice a day, even if it’s just for short periods of ten minutes at a time. Drink water in gentle, mindful sips. Eat right and slowly. Take a walk. Immerse yourself in the colors and sounds of nature. Enjoy with mindfulness the hope that sunrise radiates and the sense of trust that sunset radiates. If you like this idea, learn to meditate, preferably from a trusted forum or teacher. Mindfulness is what you need to transform your journey of grief into a pilgrimage of growth and grace. Learn more in my book “Grief ~ Growth ~ Grace – A Sacred Pilgrimage.” Until then, take a deep breath, be mindful, and affirm your pain. Dr. Neena Verma is a ‘Grief & Growth’ Expert, Resilience Coach, Appreciative Inquiry Expert and author of “Grief ~ Growth ~ Grace – A Sacred Pilgrimage” . You can contact her at drneenavermachimes@gmail.com
